Ashley:

I've decided to make my lj friends-only. This will most likely be my last public post. Comment and if I want you reading this I'll add you...

1. Reply to this post, because I would like to say a couple words about you.
2. I will also tell you what song you remind me of.
3. I will also tell you what celebrity/public person/fictional character you remind me of, either personality-wise or looks-wise.
4. I will also give ONE WORD that I associate with you when I think of you.
5. We all could use a boost now and then, so steal this for your journal and make someone else's day as well. Spread the joy people!

I am very highly contemplating making my lj friends-only. The only thing at the moment that's hindering that is the fact that CeCe doesn't have one, meaning that she wouldn't be able to look. People keep finding my journal, people that I normally don't talk to but that I see mostly on a daily basis. That's a bit unnerving. So anyway, whenever I find a loophole with the CeCe issue, be looking for my journal to be friends only. It won't happen at least until my grades come back and (hopefully) I get off punishment, because I am currently sneaking. lol.

So yeah I think that's about all.

1. What did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
Fell in love, got drunk, other things...

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember what they were. I highly doubt it in any case.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
nope

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My mawmaw's brother and not close, but one of her nephews, Jerry.

5. What countries did you visit?
None but here, unfortunately

6. What would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
A boyfriend, and a flat stomache among other things...

7. What dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
July 5, went to see Harry Potter w/ Cece, Bradley and Britt because that was the first time I realized that I loved him. July 16, went and saw Spidey 2, that was a great movie. August 2, a week before school started, I got drunk(man what a cryfest...) October 2, Homecoming, went with Britt, ripped my dress, good times, good times...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Got a 24 on my 1st attempt at the act test. w00t

9. What was your biggest failure?
love life in general...lol

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
nothing major

11. What was the best thing you bought?
various cds. Namely the Muse absolution cd

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
brain fart

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
my own...

14. Where did most of your money go?
down the toilet apparently


15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Abbey, school letting out last year, homecoming, Thanksgiving break, christmas break (noticing a trend?lol)

16. What song will always remind you of 2004?
any song from the Muse absolution cd, especially time is running out. Iron and wine/ the postal service-- such great heights. Leonard Cohen - Hallelujah.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? happier in some aspects, sadder in others.
b) thinner or fatter? fatter I think, but I weigh nearly the same
c) richer or poorer? I was richer... until I went shopping... lol.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
studying, reading, earning money

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
getting into drama, getting my hopes up

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
spent it being driven insane by my crazy family and catching up with my mom

21. Did you fall in love in 2004?
with Britt

22. How many one-night stands?
HAHAHAHA

23. What was your favorite TV program?
The OC,

24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Some people have come and gone, so I no longer have them in my face to hate.

25. What was the best book you read?
The Green Mile & IT

26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Muse, the Killers, Keane

27. What did you want and get?
the Marilyn purse

28. What did you want and not get?
a car, a laptop (or new computer in general), a new cell phone, but more reallistically the movie Partymonsters

30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 16, Britt came over, my mother didn't...

31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
certain feelings being returned, recieving the aformentioned unrecieved items, especially the lappytop, losing about 20 pounds...

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
What fashion concept? lol

33. What kept you sane?
My friends... period

34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Johnny Depp and Orli.

35. What political issue stirred you the most?
none that come to mind

36. Who did you miss?
Jessica and Daddy

37. Who was the best new person you met?
(Coker)

38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2004:
Aim low so you won't be disappointed... you might get more than you expected.

39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
...It's something unpredictable that in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life...

Well, I'm at Nat's again. Doing the New Years Eve thing, soberly mind you. I'm going to let my inner pyro come out and play I think. School starts Tuesday. I don't want to go back. Oh well.

I honestly don't know what's happening to me. I've been thinking of things differently, seeing things in a new light, definitely contemplating things that I wouldn't have a few months back. I don't know if this is a permanent change in myself or just a phase, I also don't know if it's such a good thing. I guess I'll figure out in time.

I need a boy, could I possibly say that enough? It's been over 2 years since I've had a boyfriend. I'm 16 and still haven't been kissed. Am I THAT damned ugly? I mean come on now. This is getting ridiculous. I'm about ready to give it up. I am considering entering the convent. Albeit, I'll probably end up one of the naughtier nuns... (j/j)

So... I came out pretty well this Christmas:
cds:
Keane (courtesy of Britt)
The Killers
Celine Dion- one of the greatest hits
Muse - shobiz
Metallica- Master of Puppets
Sarah Mclachlan- mirrorball
Mix 1 and 2 of random lovliness (courtesy of Cece)

other stuff:
a karyoke machine + 5 karyoke cds
Marilyn Monroe Purse
cool pillow
lava lamp nightlight thingymabob
$$$
HT gift card (from Nat)
AWESOME Harry Potter callender (thanks cece :*)
Chocolate (courtesy of Erin Lizbeth, as mentioned before. lol)
all kinds of goodies from Becca of which I have eaten everything edible. lol
a giant set of brushes (lol)
jewelry

I think thats it.

eh well. I guess thats all folks.

It has been WAY too damned long since I've updated. Being punished doesn't own, it doesn't own at all. There is so much to catch up on in here.

Well, my mom is back into my life once again. She seems to have straightened herself up. Has a new guy, Tony, that is supporting her financially. She told us the other day that are pregnant. I'm kind of excited to be a big sis, actually. I'll be 17 by the time it's (hopefully she's) born. I have a strange feeling that I'll be mainly raising it. I dunno, we'll see.

So there's a guy at school. He isn't exactly a saint. I think I'm off my good little christian boy streak, for a while anyway. Frankly, it hasn't paid off. When I try to get a nice boy, it never works, so screw it.

School sucks ass. I'm beyond ready to be out of there.

I've gotten cool presents so far. Becca's stuff was mucho creative. That bag was kick ass, but it got all ripped. I was a tad pissed. Erin gave me chocolate, I could have humped her leg right there (haha, j/j). Cece gave me a Harry Potter Calender. I nearly hugged her until she turned blue. lol. She's also burned me two awesome mixed cds.
I'm at Nat's now. She, Britt, and I exchanged gifts. He got me the Keane cd! Nat gave me a HT gift card. I shall have mucho fun with that giftcard.

EH, I need to go. I'm sick of being punished now. My grades better go up considerably, cause this isolation is driving me nuts.

Anyway, later. I love you guys.

I found IT (the movie) in the store yesterday, so I bought it and watched it. I wasn't nearly as scary as I remember it being, but that clown was freaky as shit... the other graphics were, well , very 80's lol. looked like claymation half the time, but over all it was pretty good for having been a made for tv movie. 

OMG, I recognized the guy that plays the young Bill Denbrough (the kid that stutters in the movie). I was like in love with that kid when I was little. He had played Bastian in the Neverending Story 2. I found out his name--Jonathan Brandis-- and searched on here to see what he's been up to, you know, fully prepared to start fangirling. I found out that he died a little over a year ago--November 12 of last year. Now how freaky is that! It might sound silly, but I cried when I found out. He had comitted suicide, and hadn't left a note or anything. Supposedly, he'd been with friends and left the room. When they went to go see what he was doing, they found him hanging by his belt. There was no sign of drugs or alcohol in his body, and like I said, no note. If he had some sort of psycological disorder, I don't  think anyone knew about it. And to top it all, he wasn't lacking in work. I hadn't seen him in...a few years... but he kept pretty busy doing various made for tv movies and tv spots and stuff and had even directed a movie. I just don't know what could have happened, you know.  Makes me sad to think about it, so I'm not going to dwell on it.

I guess that's it.

Ok, for those of you that are planning on getting me something for x-mas and have no clue what, I've decided to post a list to help you out. :P (or you could just hug me, give me a hershey's kiss (or a real one, or both, I'm not picky...lol) and be done with it.

Random stuff
The OC 1st season dvd boxed set
Hot topic gift card
Barnes and Nobel gift card

Cds
1. music from the OC: Mix 1
2. " ": Mix 2
3. " ": Mix 3 - Have A Very Merry Chrismukkah
4. Velvet Revolver - Contraband
5. Breaking Benjamin - So Cold
6. " " - We are not alone
7. " " - Saturate
8. Keane - Hopes and fears
9. Muse - Showbiz

yadda yadda yadda... thats plenty enough suggestions...

I need to start shopping for people myself. I've got.... ideas.

I'm sick. I hate it. but I feel like I'm getting better

I got my grades back Wednesday (also woke up sick that day, how appropriate)
Here they are:
**What's in () is what I had on the last progress report**
BCA- B (A)
Algebra 2- B (A)
English 3- C (C)
Am. Hist. Honors- D (C)
Spanish 2- A (A)
Guitar- B (A)
Chemistry- C (D)

Only came up in one, stayed the same in 2 and everything else dropped. I'm punished yet again. I can't go out (I was told not even to ask), I'm not supposed to be on here, my phone time is supposedly limited. I found a loophole in the 1st part. I can have people OVER. Nat came yesterday :P

Phillip and Sharon broke up. They are 2 of a kind. really. Their personalities clashed in a big way, needless to say, it wasn't pretty. Phillip broke it off, but he's the one that it seems to have affected most. The 11th grade ccd class went to see that Terese movie at Grand Cinema. I sat by Phillip (long story, I'll get to it in a minute) and every now and then he'd ask me something about Sharon, like if she hates him or whatever. I had talked to her in 4th hour that day, and she said she doesn't hate him etc,etc, but he wouldn't listen.

OK, I'll explain what else happened at the movie. I sat on the second row from the top because I didn't wanna sit by certain people who have no importance to my story. Anyway, I had my small popcorn and Phillip sits a seat over from me. He was like I want some popcorn and takes mine. No big deal, I'm well used to that by now. I wanted some though, so I tried to take it back and it fell on the floor. Yeah needless to say I didn't want it anymore because you just don't know what's on those floors. So, 3 bucks wasted. I could tell he felt bad. Kind of funny to think of now. He scooped some back into the bucket and was like you still want it. I was like ummm...no. So he starts eating it... yeah good ol' Phillip. lol. Anyway, so the nasty floor popcorn gets passed around among the guys...ewww. Alicia and Ashley gave Phillip the rest of their popcorn (like half the large bucket) so I moved over and skeefed some of his and he stole my icee a couple times. I wish he would have gotten sick, now THAT would have been funny. Alas, I think he came out unscathed.... oh well. Fun times, fun times.

Oh and on the car ride home, I heard that Nelly song ft. Tim McGraw for the 1st time. It's pretty cool.

I guess that's all for now (and I'm willing to predict for a long while)

Love ya'll

Ok, so we went to Wal*Mart. I found the most freaking awesome purse! Guys, I think I should tell you...I think I have an obsession with Tinkerbell. OK, now that I got that off my chest... lol.

( On a more serious note...  )

Name four bad habits you have:
1. cussing
2. popping bones... knuckles, back, neck, etc
3.
4.

Name four things that you wish you had:
1. a good, well paying job
2. a car
3. much better grades
4. a boyfriend

Name four scents you love:
1. Coolwater perfume
2. fresh bread
3. the laundry detergent aisle at the supermarket
4. gasoline

Name four things you'd never wear:
1. really, really short shorts
2. stilletos (only b/c I'd break my neck)
3. head bands (b/c they look stupid on me)
4. clown shoes...? lol

Name four things you are thinking about right now:
1. school stuff
2. current...situations
3. my foot is going to sleep
4. how loud the cars on the road are

Name four things that you have done today:
1. got out of bed
2. ate breakfast
3. played solitaire
4. this thing

Name the last four things you have bought:
1. temp id
2. smoothie (effing $5 smoothie!!)
3. one of those pens for the fund raiser
4. birthday card for Wesley

Name four people you would like to spend more time with:
1. Natalie
2. Britt
3. CeCe
4. Becca

Name four bands/groups most people don't know you like:
1. Gretchen Wilson
2. Usher
3. Metalica
4. the Postal service

Name four drinks you regularly drink:
1. Root beer
2. water
3. milk
4. KoolAid

Name the last four people you have kissed/been kissed by:
1. hahaha
2. yeah right
3. isn't it pathetic?
4. no one

Name four random facts about yourself:
1. my leg itches
2. I think I caught a cold within the last 12-24 hours
3. I think I'm going to major in music....
4. yep, my foot is DEFINITELY asleep

You are going to Marry Josh Hartnett. He is really
shy, but don't let that fool you. He is really
outgoing and sweet with those he loves and will
be loyal to them for the rest of his life.
Congrats!!


Which male celebrity are you going to marry? (14 choices now!!)
brought to you by Quizilla

he was rather hot in that movie (Pearl Harbor)....

FYI, I deleted the political thingamabob, because it was making my lj act retarded and it was starting to irk me. I'm still a little liberal though, don't worry.

Ok. I've got a bit to update on. So I guess I'll start at Wed. 10/14.

( talent show stuff... and later... Andy. )

Now I'll backtrack to the day before the talent show. I had started that day (oh the joys, let me tell you ) and my pms was on full throtle. To top it off, our air conditioner broke. It's still broken. Oi. anyway I went to ccd and Phillip was being a regular asshole. Worse than he's been in quite a while. Needless to say I cussed him out rather severely. The worst I've done to anyone in so long I can't even remember... the first time he pissed me off, I warned him then and there not to mess with me, that I wasn't in the mood, etc. I guess he'll listen better next time.... I don't know why I felt the need to share that, but oh well...lol.

We went to the camp this weekend to escape the heat. It was decent. I watched a couple of pretty good movies and stuff. The air conditioning was wonderful after sleeping in the heat for 3 nights. lol. I ate some sugar cane! I was also contemplating how anyone in their right mind could choose to live out in the middle of nowhere like that... I know I couldn't. I'd go stir crazy. It's ok for a weekend, I guess, but Mawmaw and Pawpaw are actually planning on moving out there after I graduate. I just don't understand it... oh well. I think I'm spent. Chew on that one a while...lol

I'll leave you with the lyrics to the song thats stuck in my head. Funny how after everything that's happened, including my change in feelings, this song still, for the most part, personifies Britt for me...

Push

Everytime I look at you 
the world just melts away
all my troubles, all my fears
dissolve in your affection
you see me at my weakest 
but you take me as I am
when I fall you offer me a softer place to land

Chorus:
you stay the course, you hold the line
keep it all together
you're the one true thing I know I can believe in
you're all the things that I desire
you save me, complete me 
you're the one true thing I know I can believe in

I get mad so easy 
but you give me room to breathe
no matter what I say, you'll do
because you're too good to fight about it
even when I have to push 
just to see how far you'll go
you wont stoop down to battle but
you never turn to go

Chorus

Love is just the antidote 
nothing else can cure me
there are times I can't decide
when I can't tell up from down
you make me feel less crazy
otherwise I'd drown
but you pick me up and brush me off
you tell me I'm ok
Sometimes thats just what we need 
to get us through the day

Chorus

Man, it's been a while since I've been able to update... School is poo as always. On a majorly happy note though... I made it into the talent show! It's next Thursday @ 7 in the theater if any of you love me enough to come :P. Tommorow should be pretty fun... I'm going to the praise and worship thing at St. Thomas Moore. Britt's taking me. He's in the house band, so I'll get to see him play, which I'm sure will be awesome. I think Nicole might be coming as well, so that'll definitely be fun.

( family stuff... )

Phillip and Sharon are dating now. I honestly don't know how to feel about it. I really like Sharon, she's a cool kid. And they seem really happy with each other. I just can't help feeling a slight bit...dare I say it... jealous. It's rediculously stupid to feel this way, but I do. I just wish things would stop being so stupid and complicated...

So anyway... that wasn't nearly all of what I prolly should have written about, but screw it. This is plenty long enough. I'll try to start posting decent updates at least once a week (as long as I'm not punished from the computer, which I can't really make a promise on...)

Luv you guys...

I've decided to let you subject yourself to the epicyclical sized post if you will, but I won't force you. Go for it if you're brave. : P

( homecoming.... )

El fin

So, Britt and I went to the Homecoming game last night, which we of course lost. But we'll not talk of that... I had fun! I saw a ton of freakin people there that I know, some of which I haven't seen in years. As crappy as the football team is this year, I was absolutely floored at the sheer size of that crowd... probably not the most they've ever had in the stands, but there was quite the substantial number there...
I introduced Britt to a lot of my friends. Plenty were hitting on him, though Britt, being the imperceptive brick that he is (his words, not mine. I stole that from HIS entry, lol), didn't even notice. I informed him later of how big a hit he was. lol. My friends (the ones whose opinions really matter to me) really seemed to like him, and that really made me happy. He seemed to like the majority of people that we came across as well. I think he took a particular liking to Erin which really rox my sox. (she kicked his ass at burping, from what I witnessed. Yeah, Britt, you totally got schooled. But you really can't say that I didn't warn you :P)
OMG I saw Jessica! I've missed her sooo much! I hadn't seen her since May! She's still my Jessica. We had great fun. The old group was together again, minus Brett and Albie (but who ever really needed them anyway? lol).
I met some new people, and people that I haven't seen in years. I guess ball games are good for that.
Yeah, last night was grand. I wish Becca would have been there, though.

Tonight is Homecoming. I'm excited. This is my first one. I'm so glad Britt is taking me rather than some ass from school. I'm finding the majority of them to be rather insufferable lately. I really hope Britt has fun. No matter what he says, he won't ruin my night by being a "loser" or whatever, cause he just doesn't have it in him. I'm not worried about myself having fun, I just hope he doesn't regret taking me, :P.

Well I guess that's all for now. I'll probably update tomorrow or something.

Love you guys.

I am so fucking sick of this house! We got our grades back yesterday. I got 4 A's, 2 C's and a D... not the best grades, but they aren't exactly horrible. I definitely got more A's than I was expecting... Of course the D is all they focus on. So what if I have and A in math for the first time since middle school. So what that I have the highest grade in the Spanish 2 class. None of that was even recognized when anything but A's showed up. I told them at the beginning of school that I knew I was not going to make perfect grades. Junior year is supposedly the hardest, and I'm doing decently, but I still got yelled at. No good job, only it's not good enough, I want to see A's! arrrgh. I'm fucking sick of it. They actually have threatened to punish me if I don't bring them up. Knowing me I'll end up with all A's and B's except for like one and knowing them they'll be assholes and ground me when I don't have a life anyway. Being in school sucks. The best time of your life my ass. Hardly any of my friends at school talk to me anymore. I guess there's just nothing to say. I just hate this crap. I want out. I try to do the good thing and I end up getting screwed over. I've screwed myself over as well. I still have't been asked to Homecoming. It's next Saturday night. This is the first year I've even been allowed to go and I probably won't. What is wrong with me? Do I have the freaking plague or something? My life just sucks right now.

So much for venting being therapy... the more I think about this shit the more I want to scream, cry or both at the same time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NATALIE!!!!! (now it's legal...haha)

If LJ Was a High School by Karen_Walker
Username
Principal	favorthesilence
Lunch Lady	drumdude2
Head Cheerleader	feed_ur_head
Quarterback	claire_a_belle
Prom Queen	missbunnyd
Gang Member	brave_old_world
Band Geek	yellowvette214
Theatre Geek	dreamystyles
Chess Club Captain	epicyclical
Loner Goth Kid	darkpixii
Class Clown	loser4life0830
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